I am often asked to describe what counselling is and one of the ways that I answer this question is to describe what counselling is not.
Counselling is not like having a chat with your best friend. A counsellor should never tell you what to do, instead your therapist should ask you questions or make suggestions which will lead you to make your own decisions. Let us look at an example:
A client may go to a therapist for help to deal with work related stress.
During the session the client may share details of a heated discussion that they had with a colleague.
If the person was talking to a friend, that friend may say something along the lines of, “you should have told her what you thought of her, she has never liked you”. This kind of reaction will simply fuel your fire and is likely to make you feel angry towards the person.
A therapist, on the other hand, should ask you questions that make you think about your reactions to your colleague’s comments such as:
How could you have handled the situation differently?
Is it possible that this person has issues going on outside of work that caused her to behave in the way? This would not be meant to be an excuse, but rather to offer insight into the person’s behaviour towards you.
It is important to remember to respond rather that to react to situations.
So, what is difference between the two?
When responding you are thinking about the answer that you are giving and when you do this you are considering all of the facts.
When reacting you are acting in a similar way to that of the other person. Your reaction is based on emotion rather than logic and this can escalate a difficult situation.
Do you have an issue that therapy can help you with? If so, reach out and we can begin our work: marionmcgeough@gmail.com